white chocolate mocha or vanilla latte?

I was having one of those really awkward nights at work. Everything that came out of my mouth was just… awkward. The people I was working with noticed, my manager noticed, and I am sure all my guests noticed as well. I was dubbed 'Spaz' for the night. For example, as I was setting more bread down at a certain table, this is what came out of my mouth: “These are littler rolls, so that they won’t fill your tummy up too much and save room for dinner and dessert if you get some and you really should!” Um. Awkward. I just couldn’t stop. I was on a roll.

Later in the night, I had a table of 2 middle-aged couples. As I greeted them and began to take their order, one of the guys said, “Hey, we have been trying to figure out why you are glowing. Is it a boooooyyy? Or did you do well on a test?”

What?! I was so stressed about a zillion different things… and I was glowing?! All I could do was look at him. “Really, what is it? It has to be a boy..” he said again. The whole table was waiting for my answer, and I had no idea what to say. 
So this is what comes out of my mouth: “Well.. I'm really stressed right now. I don't know, I guess... Well...I don’t know if you believe in this kind of thing.. but I just really love Jesus!”

The guy's mouth fell open. His wife chuckled. The guy tells me that was the last thing he expected me to say. Those two couples were believers, too.

Wow. Talk about a humbling experience. Even when I am so stressed about life that I forget to breathe, Jesus is able and wants to shine through me. 

Something I took away from that experience was that in that moment, I had a choice. Whether or not to scoff it off and say, “oh nothing..” or use the moment to unashamedly speak Truth.

Hard decisions. The fork in the path. The moment the rest of your life depends on. A choice. Left or right. Ranch dressing or French?

Whatever you want to call it – the implications are the same. It’s the time in my day when I can go right, left, straight, backwards, or just sit.

I have had to make some hard choices in my life. To quit playing violin.

I have made easy choices in my life. To eat a granola bar for breakfast.

I have made choices I regretted. To run away from home when I was upset at my parents. In the snow. Barefoot. No coat.

I have made choices that God vetoed right away. To do mission work in Africa instead of attend college.

*But all of these have something in common. I moved. I acted on my choice.

To choose is an action verb. One cannot call something a choice without acting on the choice that they made. In my life, I have been blessed when I make a choice and move towards that direction that I feel is God-honoring. Every time. Even if it turns out to be the wrong choice.

Sometimes, I make a choice that I am 10000000% sure is the right choice, and just as I start moving towards the door, God slams it in my face. But I moved. So He COULD slam the door in my face. Otherwise, I would have sat in the same place for months and maybe years before I gained enough courage (or impatience) to move forward. And all that time is lost. Lost in worry, confusion, fear, doubt. Movement takes faith. He knows it’s hard. He’s been there.

Moving forward. Closer to God. All the time. Sometimes, He has to nudge me the right direction when I get sidetracked. Sometimes, He has to shove me.

I love the story of the two criminals on the cross next to Jesus. (Luke 23) They had so much in common - they were both sinners. Both condemned to die. Both on a cross next to our Savior. Both heard what Jesus said. Yet, only one changed. Jesus gave each of them the opportunity to choose life over death.  But only one actively accepted Him. Jesus loves us enough to let us choose.

I just love Jesus. And I love that He gave me the freedom to choose.